Today after almost 17 years I talked with a special dear friend of mine, the first friend that I met when I came to USA 1989. I didn't speak any English, but he spoke Portuguese. I lived with a very nice family from church (Bates)and they're a blessing in my life, they always treated me as a part of the family. They'll have a special place in my heart forever.They had two children Devin 5 yrs and Natalie almost 2yrs.I loved them so much, I always I will.Natalie was my little princess I'd give her a bath every morning a dress her up, she called me Selmi for a while.Devin was a very smart little boy,new how to be sweet and charming, every night when I passed by his bedroom he would say ( Selma could you please sing me a song in Portuguese) and I'd laid down with him and did sing for him, and didn't matter how hard my day with Devin had been, at that moment they're gone and there near me was a little boy that I really love.Devin would say ( Selma I love you, tomorrow I'm going to be good).Sweet memories of two sweet kids, today my little girl tells me sometimes (mom tomorrow I'll be good) then I think about Devin. Both are married now. Natalie is a mother, my sweet Natalie abacaxi has a little boy.
Talking to my friend today made me go back time and remember when I joined church in May 1987. I never heard about Mormons before in my life. At the time I was at North of Brazil, Recife in vacation at my dad's house and my uncle gave me a bible, my very first one. I remember that my uncle told me that I was special in the Lord's eyes.
I Started reading the bible and something was touching my heart, I couldn't explain why, but I couldn't stop reading. One day I felt such a desire to cry for no reason while I was reading and then I told the Lord that I was so tired of people trying to convert me and I asked him with all my heart if there was for real one way to go back and live with him someday for him to show me.
3 days later my mom called me and told me that my brother met two very nice Americans that loved to eat cake, that she would have them over when I'd go back. I continued to read and feeling weird. When I came home my mom set a very nice afternoon snack that normally is ( cheese, bread,cake,orange juice, coffee you name it), when they came and saw that I was young they told each other that they'd waist their time w/ me, they said I was young and pretty ( they told me this later), but what they didn't know that the Lord was preparing my heart. I had so many questions for them, they stayed for a while answering my question and during the prayer we all felt the Spirit. I was baptized and no one from my family came to my baptism, but they didn't might either, that was okay w/ them.
One month later I was called to teach the young woman, I was so scared, how could I teach them? They could teach me. I learned so much while I was teaching those girls, I bought myself a self progress book and I started working on it and I set for myself high goals, that I wouldn't be weak, that I'd marry in the Temple someday no matter what would come on my way.
I had a boy friend when I joined church and he didn't like Mormons and I had to choose him or church. On Valentine's day in Brazil I met this guy in the Church dance, somebody send me a rose and I thought that was him, that was very funny, we laugh a lot and I felt very bad for the one that really sent me the rose, we starting dating, he was very handsome, charming and I was very happy that I met him, but wasn't my time to be happy yet 2 weeks after my birthday he and his best friend died in a horrible car accident. I wonder If the Lord sometimes tries our faith. I was so broken heart, took me a long time to smile again.
One year later I came to USA. I still don't know how I had courage to come, I was so attached to my family, I have 2 brothers and I'm the only girl, I didn't know how to boil eggs when I came hear. I felt so lonely and so many times I taught about going back home, I missed my family so much, everything was so different, Americans are wonderful people, but more conservative than Brazilians. I had this friend that took me to the singles ward, to the dance, I guess I was his karma, but he was my too, he was a very good friend. Then I met Susan and things got easier, she was an angel sent from heaven, she helped me with my English we still very good friends. She's my eternal friend. After while I met Greg, we're just friends for a while, then we slowly fell in love, we dated 1 yr and 6mo before we got married, I guess I wanted to make sure that I could stay forever without my family, w/o my "Brazil" that I love so much.
Tonight as I was preparing dinner and looking my children passing by me, I felt so much gratitude for my life, I guess if all the wrong things didn't exist maybe I wouldn't be here right now. Sometimes we don't understand things, we don't even understand ourselves, but the Lord does. I believe in miracles, I believe in the power of prayer, I believe the Lord know me by my name, that even before I start telling him something he already felt my heart. I think I only started to understand the Lord when I became a mother, sometimes we have to say no to ours kids, even when hurt us, because we know what's best for them. I was hurt few times, I hurt people few times, that's life.
If I had the power to go back time, I wouldn't want Roberto( my sweet heart from High school) to have died so young. I wouldn't want Flavio to have died, that was too sad. I don't even like to remember how much I suffered on both occasions.
If I had this power, If the Lord would give me that choice, I would still come here, I'd still leave my family, I would still leave Brazil, Just to be Greg's eternal wife and be the mother of this 4 most precious children that the Lord gave me to love, to care and to guide back to him and be with them for all eternity.
Talking to my friend today made me go back time and remember when I joined church in May 1987. I never heard about Mormons before in my life. At the time I was at North of Brazil, Recife in vacation at my dad's house and my uncle gave me a bible, my very first one. I remember that my uncle told me that I was special in the Lord's eyes.
I Started reading the bible and something was touching my heart, I couldn't explain why, but I couldn't stop reading. One day I felt such a desire to cry for no reason while I was reading and then I told the Lord that I was so tired of people trying to convert me and I asked him with all my heart if there was for real one way to go back and live with him someday for him to show me.
3 days later my mom called me and told me that my brother met two very nice Americans that loved to eat cake, that she would have them over when I'd go back. I continued to read and feeling weird. When I came home my mom set a very nice afternoon snack that normally is ( cheese, bread,cake,orange juice, coffee you name it), when they came and saw that I was young they told each other that they'd waist their time w/ me, they said I was young and pretty ( they told me this later), but what they didn't know that the Lord was preparing my heart. I had so many questions for them, they stayed for a while answering my question and during the prayer we all felt the Spirit. I was baptized and no one from my family came to my baptism, but they didn't might either, that was okay w/ them.
One month later I was called to teach the young woman, I was so scared, how could I teach them? They could teach me. I learned so much while I was teaching those girls, I bought myself a self progress book and I started working on it and I set for myself high goals, that I wouldn't be weak, that I'd marry in the Temple someday no matter what would come on my way.
I had a boy friend when I joined church and he didn't like Mormons and I had to choose him or church. On Valentine's day in Brazil I met this guy in the Church dance, somebody send me a rose and I thought that was him, that was very funny, we laugh a lot and I felt very bad for the one that really sent me the rose, we starting dating, he was very handsome, charming and I was very happy that I met him, but wasn't my time to be happy yet 2 weeks after my birthday he and his best friend died in a horrible car accident. I wonder If the Lord sometimes tries our faith. I was so broken heart, took me a long time to smile again.
One year later I came to USA. I still don't know how I had courage to come, I was so attached to my family, I have 2 brothers and I'm the only girl, I didn't know how to boil eggs when I came hear. I felt so lonely and so many times I taught about going back home, I missed my family so much, everything was so different, Americans are wonderful people, but more conservative than Brazilians. I had this friend that took me to the singles ward, to the dance, I guess I was his karma, but he was my too, he was a very good friend. Then I met Susan and things got easier, she was an angel sent from heaven, she helped me with my English we still very good friends. She's my eternal friend. After while I met Greg, we're just friends for a while, then we slowly fell in love, we dated 1 yr and 6mo before we got married, I guess I wanted to make sure that I could stay forever without my family, w/o my "Brazil" that I love so much.
Tonight as I was preparing dinner and looking my children passing by me, I felt so much gratitude for my life, I guess if all the wrong things didn't exist maybe I wouldn't be here right now. Sometimes we don't understand things, we don't even understand ourselves, but the Lord does. I believe in miracles, I believe in the power of prayer, I believe the Lord know me by my name, that even before I start telling him something he already felt my heart. I think I only started to understand the Lord when I became a mother, sometimes we have to say no to ours kids, even when hurt us, because we know what's best for them. I was hurt few times, I hurt people few times, that's life.
If I had the power to go back time, I wouldn't want Roberto( my sweet heart from High school) to have died so young. I wouldn't want Flavio to have died, that was too sad. I don't even like to remember how much I suffered on both occasions.
If I had this power, If the Lord would give me that choice, I would still come here, I'd still leave my family, I would still leave Brazil, Just to be Greg's eternal wife and be the mother of this 4 most precious children that the Lord gave me to love, to care and to guide back to him and be with them for all eternity.
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